CowThe United Nations has released a report blaming the world’s cow herds as the single-most greatest cause of the depleting environmental conditions… global warming, acid rain, deforestation, reef destruction, and oceanic “dead zones” to name a few.  Al Gore, you can stop blaming the Republicans.  Approximately 18% of all greenhouse gases are blamed on cattle (cows).  This percentage is higher than that contributed by all of the world’s transportation mechanisms (cars, airplanes, ships) put together!

I had no idea that burping cows produced nearly 1/3 of all methane in the atmosphere.  Methane, as luck would have it, warms the earth 20 times faster than CO2!!!  And there are other factors: 2/3 of the world’s ammonia emissions come from cattle (causing acid rain); emissions from producing fertilizer and transporting meat total 9% of all CO2; deforestation from overgrazing is creating deserts in many areas; and cattle use a lot of water - 990 liters per liter of milk produced!

It gets worse, those little buggers don’t even say excuse me!  Meanwhile they are slowing destroying our planet with no end in sight.  I propose a compromise.

According to Colorado State University, one cow can belch more than 50 million metric tons of methane gas each year.  I say we find a way to capture this gas and use it to meet our fuel needs!  Methane cars, power plants, and even batteries.  Your neighborhood cow, Betsy, could be used to recharge your cell phone.  Now, where’s the number for my patent lawyer…

Sources:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_176.html
http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article2062484.ece